There are two pivotal moments in the naming of newborn twins. The first dramatic event is the choice by the parents of the baby's names. Whether to choose rhyming names, names that begin with the same initial, or completely unique names can trigger a wide range of opinions.

But we don't care about that. No, the purpose of this essay is to address that other important issue--how the twins choose to refer to themselves during introductions. You know, should it be 'Hi, we're Craig and Mark' or 'Hi, we're Mark and Craig'?

dear grandma...Many unsympathetic singletons might think why not just call us the twins? (or use some dumb twin nicknames, like Heckyl and Jeckyl, Fric and Frac, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, etc.) To that we answer that's why you'll always be stuck in the humdrum world of singletons.

We're unique individuals with different personalities, separate likes and dislikes and our own strengths and weaknesses. We just have this twin bond that we are proud to showcase.

So how should twins solve the important problem of determining which name goes first? One simple solution would be to vote for the alphabetical approach. (editorial note from Craig--'that means we're Craig and Mark.') (editorial response from Mark-'this would be extremely boring.')

Another answer would be to allow the oldest having the honor of having his or her name used first. (editorial note from Craig--'that means we're Craig and Mark.') (editorial response from Mark-'big deal. You've got four minutes on me because you were pushier 36 years ago and now you get the name thing too. No way.')

A third method would be to mention the "good twin" first and the "evil twin" second. Good luck determining which one of you is the "good twin" and which is the "evil twin". (editorial note from Mark--'that means we're Mark and Craig.') editorial response from Craig-'wait a cotton-pickin' second. Who said you're the good twin? Just by saying that, you've shown once again you're the evil twin.')

This is Mark writing now after I've wrestled over control of this column. One stunningly simple solution that I'm surprised we haven't discussed yet is going with the twin with the shorter name going first. See Robin and Maurice Gibbs of the Bee Gees, skiers Phil and Steve Mahre, and basketball stars Tom and Dick Van Arsdale. That leads us to Mark and Craig.

This is Craig having rightfully re-gained ownership of this computer keyboard. My response to my brother's "stunningly simple solution" is to point out the much more dignified approach of picking the twin with the longer name going first. See Chang and Eng Bunker, film directors Albert and Allen Hughes, and Abigal Van Buren ('Dear Abby') and Ann Landers. That leads us back to Craig and Mark.

Yet another possibility is figuring out what sounds better and using that choice. (editorial note from Mark--'that means we're Mark and Craig.') (editorial response from Craig-'that means we're Craig and Mark.')

To be honest, we haven't the foggiest on how you should answer this important question. We're open to suggestions from other twins out there. Heck, we'll even do a scientific survey if that million-dollar grant from the 'Center for Study of Twin Names' comes through. Just send all your comments to Craig and Mark. uhh, make that to Mark and Craig.